Tag Archive | movies

Submarine: Perfectly Pretentious

Hey, you nerds. You know what I like? Pretentious movies that are aware that they are pretentious and make fun of themselves. (Does that make them more pretentious? If they know they’re pretentious and continue with their pretensions?) Anyway, a movie like that is Submarine.

First off, it’s directed by Richard Ayoade, who is hilarious in The IT Crowd (watch it on Netflix) where he plays Moss, a character who has great lines like, “Women, eh? Can’t live with ’em, can’t find ’em.” (So good.)

Second, it is narrated by / follows Oliver Tate (see poster), a 15-year-old boy who says things like, “I suppose it’s a bit of an affectation, but I often read the dictionary” and “To us and a wonderful evening of lovemaking” but still expects to lose his virginity.

Third, the cinematography is really pretty.

Fourth, Oliver Tate, again. And other characters like Graham Purvis the mystic and Oliver’s parents.

Fifth, also the soundtrack is good!

Sixth, okay go watch it now.

Here’s a trailer, if you need some extra media to convince you:

Harry P and the Weird Hug-Tumble Over Hogwarts

Two weeks ago this very hour I was standing in line, slightly worried that I wasn’t going to make it into the theater to see Mr. Harry P. and the midnight showing. Three hours less than two weeks ago I was eating Lucky Charms and waiting for the subway home, mulling over the final film and wondering how bad I looked after sobbing for part of the movie. (Also wondering how bad I’d look the next morning at the career fair, but so it goes.)

I liked the movie. I’m a huge fan of the books and I try to think of the movies as distinct entities from the books. I liked Deathly Hallows, Part One better, but I definitely liked the second half. I’m not going to do a review here, though, I’m just going to take you through all the weird bits which, to me, make the movies kind of charming in a silly way.

  • The weirdest of the weirdness was definitely the hug-tumble that Voldemort and Harry do off of a cliff with some bouncing off of turrets and generally blurriness. I have no idea what that was about. I knew about part of it because of the trailer but really, so weird.
  • Why did all the goblins look horribly deformed?
  • Poor Cormac didn’t graduate.
  • Voldemort hugging Draco. Weird.
  • Awkward bloody baby train-heaven Voldemort. Gross, and kind of silly.
  • OLD MAN DAN RADCLIFFE & CO. Talk about WEIRD. Also, Rupert’s old man belly.
  • HP’s kids’ names… OH WAIT THAT WAS ROWLING’S FAULT lolololol.

I’m sure there are others, but that’s all I can think of now. Thanks, movies, for being so weird sometimes! Also if ANYONE reads this blog and can think of more, please suggest your own weird bits!
(But Siriusly [pun intended], I liked the movie. The acting was WAY better than it has been before, especially from Dan Radcliffe. And I cried SO MUCH during the Resurrection Stone scene and the Snape loves Lily scene and the people-who-died montage, etc. I want to see it again.)

It All Ends (not just HP)

I’m sure you’ve all seen the final Harry Potter movie posters. If not, here’s what I see every day, plastered on buses and telephone booths and walls:

Just for a second, can we talk about how depressing that is? I mean, it’s super exciting that the final movie is coming out–I have midnight tickets–but that tagline is the most depressing tagline in the world.

What makes it worse is that the day Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is released is also the day we at New York University’s Summer Publishing Institute are released and let out into the wilds of the city and the publishing industry. So not only is the most significant book series of my childhood coming to an end, but so, too is my actual childhood. I’ll have to find a job and an apartment.

Goodbye, childhood. Goodbye, Harry Potter.

(May also be read: Hello, exciting opportunities. Hello, 8-DVD-HP-marathons.)

That movie about facebook

So, as Nick and I were watching the Oscars, we got a little bit bored about a lot of it so we decided a good thing to do would be to watch a movie while we watched the Oscars. It was a complicated endeavor, especially because my television is 1 million years old and the mute button was being cranky and because sometimes you just can’t tell if what’s happening on muted television is interesting or not. In any case, we made it through The Social Network as we watched James Franco and Anne Hathaway be totally awkward Academy Awards hosts.

When I saw the trailer for The Social Network I thought it looked like the worst movie in the whole world. Okay, not the worst movie in the whole world, but I thought it looked totally cheesy and melodramatic and lame. Then everyone I knew saw it (while I stubbornly refused to), and they all said it was the best ever. “THE BEST EVER???” I thought. “IMPOSSIBLE. DID YOU SEE THE TRAILER?” Then it was all up for best picture, and people were saying it would WIN and I was all, “IMPOSSIBLE. DID YOU SEE THE TRAILER???????” Anyway, as the Oscars got going, Nick and I decided to start watching it on the internet in a totally legal way.

I’m not going to lie, I still don’t get it. Maybe part of it was that I watched it while watching something else (the Oscars) but I’m pretty sure it’s just because I didn’t really like it. I guess also part of it might have been that it was over-hyped by everyone on the planet, but again, I think that it was actually lacking in some areas. For example, none of the characters are endearing, except for Eduardo, and I didn’t care at all about Mark because he’s a total jerk. I also just couldn’t get invested in the drama of it all. I don’t care about your legal issues because you cheated everyone you know out of some of the cred. And why doesn’t Rashida Jones get to say more things? I liked her in The Office.

On top of that, when M. Zuckerberg was all whining about not wanting to put ads on facebook all I could think about were all the ads all over facebook and how it’s creepy that it thinks it knows what I want / should lose weight / buy baby cribs. Anyway. Whiny whiny whiny rich kids fooling around with the internet blah blah whiny rich kids and whiny not-as-rich-Mark whiny whiny JT’s crazy whiny whiny hot babes are crazy too whiny whiny whiny law suits.

I didn’t hate the movie. In fact, I kinda almost liked it. I do think it’s totally overrated and over-hyped, however, and anyone who says that it deserved Best Picture is almost as crazy as all the people insisting that Inception deserved it (also an over-hyped, overrated movie).

Go watch it if you thought the trailer looked great or if you think law suit internet drama is cool, though.

P.S. Because I mentioned Nick earlier, he would like you to know that he thoroughly enjoyed The Social Network. He thinks “it’s a very important subject to know the story behind, it had very good music and acting, and, um, it’s compelling to compare the way that these privileged white boys strive for personal excellence and my own dreams of success.”

P.P.S. Rotten tomatoes thinks “Impeccably scripted, beautifully directed, and filled with fine performances, The Social Network is a riveting, ambitious example of modern filmmaking at its finest.”

P.P.P.S. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.” Why are taglines so often the worst?

I’m not dead.

HEY BLOG. I’m not dead, but given that my year-long thesis is due in just under a month, I’ve had my attentions elsewhere. But I just discovered something that probably is old news, but I think I’ll share anyway.

Water for Elephants has been made into a movie to be released next month (which I can say, because it’s March already, holy cow). As you know, I didn’t like the book, but I think the story might be better suited for a movie. I’d wager that they’ve cut out a lot of the old man depressing scenes. They definitely cut out Uncle Al (the ringmaster) in favor of making August the new ringmaster, it looks like. AND because it’s a movie no one has to read the boring writing style, so… good deal.

I’m not sure how I feel about Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon, but Christopher Waltz (of Inglourious Basterds) is playing August and that will probably be awesome. Robby P. was ruined for me by the terrible Twilight films (although he looks a thousand times more attractive un-vampired), and Reese will probably do alright–she just seems like more of  a romcom gal to me (probably because I mostly remember her from Sweet Home Alabama). Also, Rob is really close to butt-grabbing territory in that poster.

Here’s the trailer, which looks as interesting as I thought the book did, but hopefully ends up being more so. Maybe I’ll even go see it.

P.S. “Life is the most spectacular show on Earth” is a totally lame tagline.